Place yourself in their shoes

A friend said something that day which sparked off some of my random thoughts. she said, "he's born with a silver spoon in his mouth. do you think he is able to empathize with those poor patients who can't even fulfill their basic needs, let alone pay for medical bills?" is that true?

i think if what she said is true, then that doesn't make us with a more humble background any better. cos we prob are much more fortunate than these poor patients too and dun hafta worry about our basic needs. n of course, we can't empathize with the other half of the patients - the rich ones!

do we have to be mothers ourselves to be able to empathize with the poor crying mom whose child's sick? do we have to go through an OGD (tube through the mouth into the gut) before we know how uncomfortable it feels? do you really need to experience the situation or circumstance before you can empathize?

yup... i agree that if we've been through it ourselves, empathy does come along more easily. after all, the exact same emotions and pain you had are nicely stored in your memory and can be easily conjured up again. sometimes we think we understand how painful something is... but it'll never be as accurate as having experienced it ourselves.

However, experiences of others can help you too! throughout my lifetime, i've learnt many other ways to gather such experiences... books, movies, tv, chitchatting. (haha! more excuses to indulge in my dramas, novels, tea and chat sessions!) and now, talking to patients becomes another great source of such experiences. that is if i listen with my heart instead of just my brain!

i mean you can choose to take a history of colon cancer or take a history of a patient with colon cancer. either way you learn... depends on your priorities. for me, just spending 10 min more chitchatting with the patient, indirectly picking up the emotional and psychosocial effects of the disease on the patient is definitely worth it. the rewards gained from it can never be found in any textbooks. will it help me pass mbbs? no i dun think so... but life is not just about passing mbbs, isn't it?

so back to the question... do you think the rich kid can empathize with a poor patient? i think yes, but only if he cares enough... only if he bothers to listen with his heart... that said, it seems like there's this "iffy" attribute that can help anyone to empathize with ppl. is that what they mean by "you either have it or you don't"? is it something we're born with? or is it the environment and social interaction? is it true that empathy cannot be taught?

haha... lotsa questions but no answers...