The gravity of our actions

"With great power comes great responsibilities."

this statement from Spiderman is about to become as over-used as the star wars one (we all know which one).

these 2 days have been a discovery of how true tt statement is. i'm suddenly thrown into the ward to be involved in the day-to-day care of patients. we take bloods for them, set drips for them, do urinary catheterization, check results, examine them... it's damn scary. super super scary... everyday when i'm on the way back home, the entire day runs through my head and i think about what i'd done for the day. think about what i did correctly... dwell even MORE on what i did wrongly and how i could have done it better. sometimes i get really upset cos the pain in the patient's eyes and face when we poke them gets replayed in my mind.

it's still fun and enriching cos we are actively doing stuff in the ward... finally... instead of the usual clerking and reading case notes. the MO and reg treat us as part of the team and make sure we're kept busy, at the same time give us enough space to learn from our mistakes.

however, i finally feel this sense of empowerment which instead of making me feel good, makes me feel scared sometimes. we're dealing with human lives, human emotions, human well-being here... no more room to play-play. we have lots of ppl to answer to... our HO, MO, reg, consultant, nurses, nursing officer and most importantly, the patients n their relatives!

i'm rather thankful for such an exposure as a student. so that the transition would not be so great, as compared to if i just start out straight away as a full-fledged HO.

i've got a long way to go... just 2 days into my 4-week SIP posting...i believe i'll survive this cultural shock and ease into the routine soon...