Mind sickness

Of so many types of patients, i find patients with psychiatric problems the scariest and hardest to face.

Suicides
I often wonder whatever that led ppl to end their lives prematurely must be a really big issue (to them at least). see right... according to the laws of Darwin, we're all supposed to be built to fight for our survival intrinsically. even a small lil ant tries all sorts of ways to avoid dangers in order to live on. even a mindless plant knows how to grow towards sunlight so as to survive well.

so why do some ppl's minds deviate from this law of nature? why is it as though their minds have been warped and morphed into the other extreme? the blow must be a big one tt has thwarted the intangible circuits in our mind... the hopelessness must've been tremendous enough to overthrow all the basic laws inbuilt by nature itself.

and then, there's a saying in this world... the survival of the fittest. maybe it's natural selection at work too. after all, those who chose the roads towards suicides probably are not strong-minded enough to endure the pains and suffering in this world. it is the survival of the fittest minds as well...

ah yes... i lost track of what i wanted to talk abt... why i find them so hard to face... is because i find them so difficult to understand! is death really the only way out? why couldn't they stick through hardships with courage? why are they so weak-minded? why must they always think the worst of things, surely things can be sorted out slowly?

give me a sick patient gasping for breath, pulling the oxygen mask to his face desperately... and i know what i should be doing... help him out as best as i could! save him outta this agony... give him a hand to fight for survival!

but give me a patient who says "i dun care. dun gimme anything. i just wanna die." i become stumped. what am i supposed to do if he himself has lost the will to fight on? i feel sad. i feel useless. how do we help him? help him to die? or help him to live which he doesn't really wish to?

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Drug abusers
this is another special group of pts. (this account is reserved for only a portion of them. certainly not all behave this way!) they do all sorts of funny things to themselves when they were young and foolish and end up with a whole series of problems. some as serious as requiring amputations.

i really dunno how to empathize with these pts. i mean hey! u brought it all on urself. now u come here and whine and whine and whine about "pain here, pain there!" sometimes i really wanna ask them "if u were given a second chance, would u have done tt to urself?"

this is very wrong of me but it's not within my control! i'm made of flesh and blood, i have emotions too. i react emotionally to ppl. fortunately, i'm also really good at controlling my emotions generally.

i mean my brainy part tells me that they are still patients and i should be professional abt it. i should still do my best for them. but my heart says gosh! they dun even treasure their own bodies, why should i even bother?

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there're many more but i've picked these 2 because i feel extremely strongly abt them. mainly cos these are seemingly normal ppl on the outside but then soooo warped in their thinking. and i seriously can't understand them so i'm totally not able to empathize with what they're feeling.