Worth more than that...

evil thoughts. they're creeping into my head... some implanted by words of other ppl, some following the frustrations i've been facing.

why do i hafta pay 300 bucks for nothing? why am i being punished for nothing that is my doing? 300 bucks although may not be a lot to many, is still quite a big deal to me. it is after all, the result of my scrimping and saving. there is no way i can ask my parents to pay this amt for me cos it takes a big part of my household expenditure. i'm too ashamed to even think abt asking them for it.

some ppl say i'm not the one who wants to back out, so why am i paying the full forfeit too?

some ppl say why am i such a pushover that i let the tour agency chain us around and make us pay more at their whims and fancy?

there's a devil and angel in everyone. yes... u can imagine with every evil thoughts said by a devil, there is an angel countering everyone of them.

what's 300 bucks really? everything else is definitely worth more than tt... much much more...

our friendship. how does a mere 300 bucks and a lousy trip compare to over 10 yrs of friendship? absolutely no room for comparison!! are we gonna let argument, anger, petty monetary losses n gains affect our friendship? so my dear friend, throw away whatever feelings of guilt, unhappiness, whatever... and let this entire "saga" be another show of the strength of our friendship.

our safety. whenever the tour agent says the situation is really not that bad and it's still safe to go, i am really tempted to go ahead. but i guess u never know... if we go and something does happen, how can i ever face our parents, especially yours, again? like i said, the pantang me thinks if there're so many forces pulling us back and stopping us from going, our ancestors or some mighty being up there must be protecting us. of course, our safety is definitely worth much much more than 300 bucks...

our parents. i can imagine tt if we go, we'll spend 4 days having fun there whereas our parents and grandparents will be worrying like mad, reading bangkok news everyday. what's the point? how can we exchange more than 4 peops' well-being for our own selfish happiness?

what more do i need to say? 300 bucks will come back with just 2 days of weekend call... 10 hours of tuition... 8 times of it will come with 1 month's salary... but our friendship, our safety, our parents' well-being... nothing can replace them once lost...