exhausted...

i'm back in the wards...

tiring ward rounds, numerous changes, updating relatives, late lunches, late evening rounds... all these sound horrible right? almost incompatible with life i must say... erm... incompatible with a Comfy life rather... haha!

when i was doing clinic, life was so comfy! i start clinic at 9am and finish work on the dot at 5pm. some afternoons, i have time to do my reading up and catching up on latest news cos there're no clinics. i can arrange to meet up with frens (and be there on time for once!!) at least twice a week, go for spa, etc. I was so happy then... doing so many other things instead of just work alone.

Now that i'm back in the wards, i have much less time to do other things. but i'm happy! serious... i'm happy while working in the wards. i like seeing patients get well... i get a kick outta giving the patients the right drug and literally seeing them up and about! i feel a momentary high when i send home a patient who initially came in so sick.

In the clinic, i dun get to see such an effect. especially for MO clinic, we see them once and the next time they see another dr. I'll never get to know if my domperidone prescription helped with their reflux symptoms or not!

my frens tell me maybe that means i'm suited for internal medicine after all... instead of anaesthesia.

i really dunno honestly. i'm still as lost as ever... luckily i managed to get anaesthesia for my next posting. that'll really help me decide which path i wanna take.

maybe ultimately i need to decide what makes me happier or which kinda happiness is more impt to me. cos i wanna feel happy at work and i wanna be happy doing things other than work too. must it always be a trade-off?