Emptiness

Hai... i've passed my driving test, now what? it's always like this... life always seems like it's full of meaning when there's something ahead of me to achieve. But then immediately after i've achieved that short-term goal, i'll invariably feel a sense of emptiness. Don't you all get that feeling after say passing an exam, getting a gold medal?

I need a new distraction!! something away from work that i can look forward to... so that life won't be just work alone!

Maybe i shall go learn salsa. Haha!! I know i can't dance for nutzz! I still remember identifying with this okal mate while doing the mass dance... we both felt like our bodies were entangled and stiff like wires. but perhaps i'll pick up some tips from a good instructor and discover a new me! perfect way to lose weight and stay in figure too huh? nice way to get to know new friends too.

or maybe i shall pick up a new musical instrument! a string instrument? guitar? or cello? i've always wanted to learn another instrument and preferrably a string one... but i've put it on hold for fear of those ugly blisters (ouch) that will make me lose my piano touch. or maybe i shall further my piano and get a performance diploma cert? (sounds stressful man... especially now i think my standard's probably less than grade 5.)

How about sea sports? wakeboarding? hmm... wait... remember how i've discovered i dun belong to the sea that much at the phuket trip. ok... sea sports out! TENNIS! ah... i wanna learn how to play tennis. sounds good! ok... first i'll need a tennis racquet... then i'll need tennis shoes... tennis balls... tennis skirts... haha! bottomline = i'll need $$$ (something which i dun have now :( :( :( grrr... after slogging for 1 yr and STILL NO BONUS!!)

I think i should go sign up for some gym/fitness class membership (shucks! why does tt scream $$$ too?!?!). i desperately need to keep fit with the amount of "keep-happy" food i'm eating. Somehow i just can't stop indulging in that fattening fried chicken wing whenever i'm on-call or post-call. that's abt 6 calls x 2 = 18 days of the month!! see right? i'm depressed when i'm on-call, so i need keep-happy food. i feel that i've worked so hard when i'm post-call, so i should pamper myself with keep-happy food. HORRENDOUS! if i dun stop doing that, i'm gonna grow obese, get IHD, DM, etc and become an old lady with multiple co-morbidities plus difficult veins next time (ahh! the bane of all HO's).

or i shall be a nerdy MO whose only goal is study study study, work work work and pass MRC__'s (seriously still dunno which one i should take). haaii... doesn't sound appetizing at all...

Appetizing! i know! i should start learning some culinary skills from my very own home chef (aka mommy). it's just so sad that all those recipes passed down from generations of grandmas and greatgrandmas disappear from my generation onwards huh? always wonder how my mom manages to cook those wonderful dishes just based on feeling. i used to ask her "how do u know u need to add this amt of salt? how do u know this tastes good with that?" mom'll always look at me with amusement and say "just put lor!" i should really find some way to learn that skill from her...

i'm so lost now... initially with nothing to do and now with so many things i wanna do but can't do cos of various reasons. haha! i guess i shall wait for MO posting to start first! my posting's reputed to be XIONG ++, so may not have the time and energy to do anything after all. :( kinda hate it cos life's so unpredictable for me now... like whether i'll enjoy the next posting, what i wanna specialize in, whether i'll eventually find a partner and settle down, etc... well, i guess to put it in a good way, this makes it all the more exciting cos there're sooo many possibilities for me to explore!