Adulthood

some ppl say when u turn 21, u become an adult. i beg to differ. i think u really start becoming an adult only when u start working.

junctions are always the hardest... the junction from a big phase of a life to another one. all the changes and adaptations... the shift in mindsets - both for urself as well as ppl around u.

at this stage, i'm grappling with the hard facts and realities of adulthood and i'm HATING IT! gone are the days where my role in this world is to study hard and get the A's and certs... where i only have 250 bucks to handle per month and hence only need to decide whether to spend it on an expensive item or a good meal... where there are minimal effects on other ppl whether i choose to do or not do something.

in the past, if there's a problem i can't solve, i can always run to my parents like a spoilt lil child with demands. even though i know my parents will still help me now, i just feel like i should deal with things myself and i'm now on my own!! compared to last time when i was independent cos i choose to, now i'm FORCED to be independent. i can't help but feel kinda lost sometimes.

recently, i'm suddenly thrown with lots of adult stuff... financial decisions on how to partition my monthly income and which insurance to get, administrative procedures pertaining to my work, tuition fee loan and cpf loan matters, life major plans including considering which career pathway to take, when i'll start a family, etc etc. and i'm IRRITATED!! they invade my otherwise peaceful and relaxing thoughts...

and gosh... work hasn't even started officially lor!! there'll be more decisions of major consequences to make, the need to practise diplomacy and courtesy and the pressure to excel and upgrade ourselves in this competitive service industry.

please tell me it's the transition period tt's why i'm not used to it yet. please tell me things will get better. i need to believe that...