Compassion

i think i'm mad... it's less than 4 days to the start of exams and here i am typing away. well, if i wasn't mad initially, the past few days of mugging certainly can make me mad. haaii..

anyway, i just had to type this down so that i'll quit thinking about it.

i watched a drama and there was a wise beggar who said these words...
"some ppl are truly compassionate and they truly wanna give us beggars money. but some wish to think that by doing so, they become compassionate. for example, if a guy's father just passed away and he's feeling very guilty for not caring enough when his father was still alive, he feels better after giving the beggar some money. kinda lessen his guilt a bit. or after doing some bad deeds, he thinks by giving the beggar some money, he'll even out the bad things he has done and hopefully still be considered a good man."

hmm... so what are you thinking about when u toss that coin of urs into those flag day cans? what about those who call in and donate money during the charity shows? or what do you hope to achieve when you stand for hours and go around holding the tin cans asking for money?

honestly, sometimes i have been donating money or helping out at charity not because i'm truly compassionate. sometimes i do it for duty, like say to fulfill the minimum no. of community service hours or just to get a sticker as an amulet so that no other flag day peops will approach me.

but wait... donating money is just one of the many ways to show compassion. some ppl visit homes and make an extra effort to make things better for other less fortunate ppl. some ppl give their time, strength, encouragement, care and concern. but do i do any of these things? no...

so what's keeping me? lack of time? of course not! i'm an advocate of good time management, remember? seriously, if i have the heart to anything, i'll do it no matter what. so nope, i definitely do not have a truly compassionate heart. not to say i'm utterly ashamed of it... cos i know many ppl around me dun have either. i think it's not a prerequisite to being a good person... it's more like a bonus... like something tt'll make u an ultra good person... someone who'll be remembered and loved by many many ppl.

i dun hafta be an ultra good person. i dun need to be remembered and loved by so many ppl... just my frens n family around me can liao. am i just making excuses for myself? to ease myself outta those compassionate tasks? hmm...