The GRIMMEST day of my life

i've always thought i've got a relatively good control over my emotions. today i realized everything has a limit. and i reached my limit today.

won't be saying what happened... all i can say is of course it was something bad. not really just one thing also... probably a culmination of things.

anyway, somehow i tried taking my breath a few times to force the emotions down (to where? i dunno...). managed to hold on till ward rounds are over and right after i could get away from my team, it's as if a volcano erupted in me... albeit it was a volcano throwing tears from my eyes.

with tears streaming out already, i ran as fast as i could to the nearest toilet cubicle... sat down and cried! really cried and cried... after tt, i immediately felt much much better. (strange analogy i'm gonna use... but it's like u ate something bad and u feel like throwing up. immediately after u throw up, u feel sooo much better.)

So after abt 10 min, i wiped my tears away, blew my nose... got out to check if my eyes n nose were red. of course they were! but 1 patient was waiting for me to discharge her in 10 min time, 8 more discharges following tt, calls to make, bloods to take. So what to do? heck and get my butt out to do work lor!

still feeling lousy and it will definitely take a while for the sore to go away. well, at least the pain from this highlighted to me an important lesson learnt.