End of a year

It's nearing the end of a year again... time seems to fly past with a blink!

What have i accomplished this year? hmm... nothing much huh? 2007 definitely pales in comparison to 2006! Well, i've got my driving licence... although in actual fact it's merely a piece of card in my wallet, cos i'm sure i still can't change lane on expressways or do parking.

I completed HO-ship... though the exhilaration is definitely not as great as completing MBBS of course. like they said, if u can make it, u'll get through HO-ship. If u cannot make it, u'll get through too cos nobody wants u to repeat the posting in their department.

Yeah... i survived my first MO posting... so what? doesn't everybody?

Hai... the fact that i feel so unaccomplished is probably accentuated by my indecisiveness. I still can't decide what to do with my LIFE and career!! The stress to decide soon is definitely there... with so many counterparts having decided and applying for traineeship/exams and what nots. The worse is the timing of the BST application exercises and exam applications... they're always right smack at the wrong time for me. like by mid-dec, i've just done anaes for 1.5 months, barely past the adjustment phase, how can i decide whether i like it or not?

Seniors all say "take ur time and decide wisely... rather than decide and end up in the wrong specialty." I sorta believe in that too but i'm still quite bothered by it! why is the usual decisive me taking so long this time?

Maybe i'm weighing too many factors which are not even tangible right now. see right... i'm thinking of the balance between work and love life, family life, childcare, etc... when i'm not even near any of these at this point in time. everything is a big IF. IF i have a husband, would he want me to spend so much time at work? IF i have children, i wanna be able to watch them grow up.

What the heck? since i'm alone and single now, i guess i shouldn't really bother abt all those multiple IFs that may or may not even happen huh? I should just decide on it for myself... my own sake. that's right! all my life i've been making choices without having to consider abt anyone else, that's why it's been so easy.

ok... with a new perception to the whole thing, i shall chew on it and hopefully come to a decision soon...